Of course, it sounded like “asshole”, and at 5 years old, that is the funny as heck.

The process of changing your iTunes password with Apple is akin to you holding your tongue and …  Actually, you will simply be calling them assholes.

Here is an interesting tid-bit for those of you with some spare time on your hands.  Go to http://iforgot.apple.com to change your password.  You’re not really going to change it, but you will get to experience some seriously stupid web development from a company that claims billions in assets, and makes you jump through hoops.

1. Enter your valid Apple ID in the box and click the Next button.
2. Click the check button beside “Answer security question” and click the Next button
3. You will then be asked to verify your birthday, complete with Month, Day and Year.

You can stop at this point, because we don’t want to venture further into their password reset.

Now, the best part.  Let’s say you are an evil genius, and you want to hack into someone’s Apple iTunes account.  Of course, you have to know if you have an actual account ID, or any of your hacking is going to be useless.  Apple to the rescue!

Click the Cancel button to start over and click “Reset your password”, or simply go to http://iforgot.apple.com again.  This time, we are going to do something a bit different.  We are going to use a bogus apple ID.

1. Enter areyoukidding@me.com in the Apple ID box and click the Next button.
2. Click the check button beside “Answer security question” and click the Next button
3. You will then be asked to verify your birthday, BUT WAIT!  There is something missing, and that would be the Year.

You just verified that the address you used was not a valid Apple ID.  Congratulations Apple!

This from a company that won’t let you use whatever password you want, won’t allow you to reset a forgotten password to anything you’ve used in the past 12 months and won’t let you simply recover your lost password after answering your security questions.

I guess they expect you to handle all of the security for them, because they obviously have no clue what they are doing when it comes to protecting you.

This is Madam Chuso Obveus. She can bake brownies, do all of the laundry, shuttle your children and more. Best of all, she does that while working a full time job,  volunteering for every civic organization and being asked to be on 5 boards at once.

How is it that someone so learned can watch you open the refrigerator and ask “Are you really hungry?”  Just when you try to get your head wrapped around that query, you try to escape to the man cave only to hear “Where are you going?”  Bite your tongue, you think to yourself. Logic would seem to indicate that standing with your hand on the door knob to the basement means you intend to descend to welcome anonymity.

Somehow you don’t remember the inquisitions of days gone by. Nuggets such as “Is that what you are going to wear?”, or “I heard the new Julia Roberts movie is out, do you really want to see the Bond movie?”

Isn’t it strange that your answer should always be yes, but you inevitably must answer no?

This super hero truly possesses amazing powers.

When you really think about it, things start to come into focus. If you are always saying “No”, then why can’t she when you ask her something.

Madam Obveus always gets her way and the villain is left stammering, wondering what just happened.

“Where are we going?”  I know that is what she is thinking. Or is it “Did you see that bird?”  Either way, it doesn’t matter much.

As my wife, the one that wanted the dog, sits at home, this is what my drives look like quite often.  I suspect that I have been had. Hornswoggled. I didn’t want a dog, yet I have one.

Oh, she grows on you though. She knows I will feed her scraps, especially bread, and she knows when I descend to the man cave to smoke some shisha that she is going to get some duck jerky.

Why is it that dog haters can be sucked in by the same youthful exhuberance that we can’t stand about the animals.  Want to go on vacation?  Nope, the dog will be home alone.  Hell, we could have left the cat with a big bowl of food, water and a litter box and gone on a cruise. Not the dog.  I’ve even come home for half of our yearly vacation to take care of her. Of course, the official reason is that I have to work.

I will never openly admit that I like this dog. That would be like admitting I could be wrong, and that ain’t happening.

I will, however, make the observation that there are more pictures of the dog on my phone than any other single being.

This is my thinking mode

Welcome to LeeOffenberger.com, the creation of my evil genius.  Ok, maybe not genius, but certainly evil.

Over the course of time, I will do my best to share my thoughts with you so that you can make a vain attempt at understanding me.